“Could make prosecution difficult”, experts say.
Click here to read Andy Borowitz’s hilarious post.
For Your Enjoyment
Funny, Creative, Clever – Eggs Painted With A Variety of Human Emotions
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Don’t allow a cold sore to erupt at the very worst time! A few dabs will prevent the entire eruption at the get-go and on-the-spot with COLD SORES BEGONE™
Jordan Peele (MadTV)-My Favorite Obama Impersonator
Regardless of your personal politics, you should find this parody very funny.
Obama Debunks Birther Conspiracy from Jordan Peele
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Canker Sores! I absolutely hate them.
Boy does that ulceration inside your mouth
hurt like a [fill in your own description].
And that’s before you try to eat or drink.
There’s a non-toxic, topical remedy that
can heal it in as little as a day,
Canker Sores Begone™.
Cockatoo Dancing to Ray Charles (Top rated Utube Video)
Feeling of a Time Machine: Watch 7-Minute Film of San Francisco in 1906, Four Days Before Earthquake
This film, taken while on a trolly, was originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn, with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum, figured out exactly when it was shot from New York trade papers announcing the film, showing the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall, shadows indicating time of year and actual weather conditions of historical record, even when the cars were registered, even knowing who owned them and when the plates were issued! It was filmed only four days before the quake and shipped by train to NY for processing.
Now we know why we have painted lines, traffic lights, etc. Notice the long strides of the people walking; pedestrians and traffic go all directions. The streetcar we are on never stops for passengers. We can see why the streets were wide, the cars and wagons are driven from the right hand side! Also notice how few women were in this footage.
Toyota Chief Overshoots Congressional Hearings by 150 Miles
OMG, Andy Borowitz, the comedian, makes me laugh like no one else. He sends out frequent ‘news articles’, a parody on current events. Read his article just out today. Sooooo funny!
Babies Are NOT as Cute as You Think: 6 Shockingly Evil Things They’re Capable Of
Manipulating, evil babies! To think I was so taken in. This article is hilarious, serious LOL.
Warning: if you’re offended by expletives, including the F word, this article isn’t for you.
So all the rest of you sick-ees, follow me here: Countdown to the 6 Evil Thing Babies Are Capable Of
What I Listen to All Day Everyday (Hint: Lounge Standards)
I have a very wide range of interest in music, but the genre I gravitate to most, creating an immediate ambiance that all’s right with the world, are the standards. Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, Tony Bennett, Streisand, Al Martino, Ray Charles, Patti Page, Ella Fitzgerald – and celebrities who sing the standards – Michael Buble, Natalie Cole, Rod Stewart, Steve Tyrell, Diana Krall, and Jane Monheit.
I listen to Martini in the Morning, an online radio show available 24/7. It lightens up anything I’m doing – working at my business, folding laundry, cleaning the dishes, organizing the garage.
Add Martini in the Morning to your toolbar so with one click, you’re in heaven.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to listening to what’s on now – The Very Thought of You with Tony Bennett and Paul McCartney (duet). Ahhhh……now that’s MY kind of music. And it’s free.
Tip: You’re given several choices from which to click – I use High Quality FM Audio/PC or Mac
Toyota Says Cup Holders Still Working Great
TOKYO (The Borowitz Report) – Embattled automaker Toyota today said that despite problems with accelerators and brakes, the cup holders on its most popular car models were “perfectly safe to use.” More on this [laugh out loud] story here: www.borowitzreport.com/
I Want THIS Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats. Don’t waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; it’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chops can give you 100% of the recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated by it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain the whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Now, for those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Robin Barr Buzz 