10 Habits to Raise Kids with Healthy Self-Esteem. And My Mother.

strengthen a child's self-esteem

What is it about this kid that reminds me of Brick from The Middle?

Don’t get me wrong, I have always considered myself very fortunate to have the exact parents I had.  I always knew I was loved, it was easy and natural to share affection and  hold hands.

(If you’d like to skip over my probably too-long, yet scintillating personal fat and short-on-self-esteem story, here you go:  10 Habits to Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Child).

Either of my parents were right there to hold my bangs back when I was sick in the bathroom (not sure what that accomplished because my bangs weren’t that long :) but was comforting to have them so there with me.

My father, an aeronautics engineer, kept graphs and charts of my brother’s and my vaccinations throughout the years, and history of doctors, etc.  He took us to all kinds of fun community events, and even to the airport to watch the planes take off and land.  Hey, this was in the late ’50’s, ok?  He would pull the car over so we could enjoy the speedometer rolling over to the next major number.  I still get excited by that.  My dad walked my brother and I around the neighborhood on Halloween, and joined with the other neighborhood dads to set off fireworks on the 4th of July.

Mom and me.

Very funny. Yes, I’m the one on the right.

My mom always planned my birthday parties, and provided tasty and nutritious meals.  She loved for me to ‘style’ her hair and apply her make-up (she found it relaxing) and I loved doing it because I was very girl-y and even then, mesmerized by before and afters.  I had the Brownies and Girl Scouts experience as well as going away to summer camp, and there were the annual vacations, and day trips throughout the year.   I felt safe, loved, and protected as a child.

Yet, my parents were human with their own foibles.

Me at 4 yrs old, already plump, with my maternal grandma and cousin at a wedding. I was the flower girl. The dress, custom made, light blue dotted swiss. It shows up later where I’m squeezed into it like a sausage at my 6th birthday party.

 

For instance,  I was overweight as a child, as I am today.  My mother was obsessed —  not exaggerating — about correcting that, something she was relentless about until she developed dementia toward the end of her life.

 

 

 

 

 

Hey friends-of-mine-since-childhood who are reading this, go ahead and tell these people how my mother would take you aside and ask you to do something to help me lose weight.

She was the first one in the neighborhood to buy diet soda when it was first introduced in 1959, I was signed up at various gyms, taken to diet doctors, a hypnotist, a psychologist, taken to anyone on local radio or TV that claimed to have an answer for weight problems.  She would watch everything I was eating like a hawk (and very vocal about it, for example at a birthday party, my mother yelling across the room to the birthday party kid’s mom, “Give Robin just a sliver”.

It was not her intention EVER, but what was said or did embarrassed or even humiliated me.  Often.  The message I heard growing up and into adulthood was that I wasn’t acceptable and belonging to the general population.

My mom loved me (and my brother) more than life, all she wanted was for me to be happy.   It wasn’t just my weight, she tried to protect me in many other ways, too.  Example:  Robin, well into adulthood – “Ah chew!”  My mother, with alarm – “Robin, do you have a cold?  Are you taking vitamins?  Maybe you better give the doctor a call. Have you had this cough long?”

I wouldn’t have the maturity for many, many years to stop reacting to her like Pavlov’s dog, to see past the behavior and understand her and what she really needed to calm down, to be ok.  And once understood, it was surprisingly easy to do.  And the last years of her life were beautiful.

No, I didn’t lose track where I was going with this story, it does tie into the ’10 Habits’ article.  Even the most loving, caring parents can fall short in guiding their child to have confidence, a healthy self-esteem, a sense of worthiness and self-respect.  No one’s to blame.  It’s the human condition.  And there is trauma, disorders, psychiatric conditions, addictions, abuse, abandonment, divorce, a death in the family, the unwanted or unloved child – all that can affect someone’s ability to be the perfect parent as an adult.

Inspite my appreciation for having, overall, very good parents, when I read the article, 10 Habits to Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Child, I felt “if only my mother (or father) would have done that“.   It had such an effect on me that I felt compelled to blog about it today because I believe it’s a universal issue that affects most of us in one way or another.

Rise up as best you can above how you were parented.  Be the influence that will shape your child’s life that’s grounded in self-respect and self-worth to have the capacity to be happy and problem solve in healthy ways, hopefully avoiding disasterous decisions trying to compensate for what they needed but didn’t get early on.

So how’s my self-esteem today?  Much better, thank you. Some might say too good :).  Above all, forgive your parents and yourselves, we’re all doing the best we can at the time.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Baby, Personal Growth, Problem Solvers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

World’s fastest workout, max aerobics, increased metabolism

woman after workout

I like this. She doesn’t appear to be sweating :)

should exercise for all the health benefits it provides  including weight loss for which I’ve had life-long issues.  One deterrent has been that I just don’t like to sweat, that’s why I hate humidity.  So in the past, whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes :).

So why is it on my mind now?  The mirror.  What the hell happened to me while I wasn’t watching??

I’m all about convenience, so found the “world’s fastest workout”, a 4 minute routine.  It was developed by a Japanese scientist to increase aerobic capacity as well as increase metabolism for up to 36 hours.   I’m too out-of-shape to do this now, but it’s what I’m going to work up to.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Problem Solvers, Wellness, Soothing, Calming | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

LOL! Dad interviews 5yr old why she cut sister’s hair

The 3 yr old sister received “the worst haircut ever”, but you can sort of understand the older sister’s reasoning for the haircut, to avert something that would surely would have been “gross”.  Both sisters are now philosophical about it.  Absolutely hilarious and adorable.  The audio may take a minute or so to load, be patient, it’s worth it!

 

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in For Your Enjoyment | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 awesome, fun, gas-saving cars $18,000 and under

2012 Volkswagon JettaI wish I didn’t see this list, because that’s all I can think about today – getting one. So tired of my 19 miles/gallon, dated looking 2004 Hyundai XG350. What will get me through this?  The car is paid for.

If you have an impulsive streak, best not to go here unless you really need a new car.  If not, start saving your sheckles for next year’s list.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Consumer | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

10 Countries where people are happiest, yet not wealthy

Feeling of well-being high in BelizeIf you were using traditional data to measure happiness, such as GNP and growth factors, you might be surprised which countries ranked higher in feelings of well-being based on environmental factors.

 

 
Here they are:

#10 Guatemala
#9   Venezuela
#8  Nicaragua
#7  Panama
#6  Jamaica
#5  El Salvador
#4  Belize
#3  Colombia
#2  Vietnam
#1  Costa Rica

To read more detail, go to The 10 Happiest Countries on the Planet, Based on Environmental Factors

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Consumer, Good Miscellaneous Stuff | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Verizon cut-off tommorrow for no-contract Android tablet

VerizonWirelessStoreYep, if you’re considering an Android tablet with Verizon, and don’t want to be tethered to a two year commitment, get moving.  You only have until tommorrow.  With or without the contract, the monthly data cost will be the same.

This only affects Android tablets;  iPads do not require a contract.

I’m SO good – here’s CNET’s list for Best Android Tablets from two days ago.  Also, here’s their overall Best 5 Tablets, Best 7-inch Tablets, Best 10-inch Tablets, and Best Budget Tablets.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in All Things Small Business, Potential Extra Income, Consumer | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Can’t get on Shark Tank? Here’s list of top NY angel investors

Top 100 NY Angel InvestorsThese angel investors, all 100 of them,  invest seed money for start-ups.  You’ll learn how they made their money, what industries they have an interest in, their range of financial investments, and how many investments they make per year.  If you’re a HARO fan, note Peter Shankman’s on the list.  We could all use a Vocus to buy our companies.  If that happened,  do you think you’d be interested in becoming an angel investor?

 

 

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in All Things Small Business, Potential Extra Income, Resources | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Another celebrity cold sore sufferer, Meryl Streep

Merly Streep With Cold SoreSorry for the blurry photo, yet, there’s no mistaking the swollen bump that I am too familiar with on her lower lip from my cold sore outbreaks when I was younger.

Since developing Cold Sores Begone almost 20 years ago, haven’t had to endure this since it aborts the cold sore at the tingle.

The most common question I read or hear about cold sores, usually from teenagers and young adults – how do I get rid of a cold sore fast??!!    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.   I don’t often respond to them with this because it’s more likely to be annoying than helpful while in this immediate ‘crisis’.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Cold Sores, Consumer, Problem Solvers, Wellness, Soothing, Calming | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Paypal FINALLY simplifying its site. Business owners rejoice!

Hel-lo.  1990 called, they want their webdesign back.  Paypal is revamping its notoriously cumbersome, slow and paypal logonon-intuitive website so it’s more streamlined and user-friendly.  The new site will have only three tabs:  Buy, Sell, and Transfer.  We’re supposed to be seeing elements of the update today.   Let’s just hope the changes will be more than just aesthetic.

 

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in All Things Small Business, Potential Extra Income | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Video demo of ‘Robin’, Android’s version of ‘Siri’

Very cool.  It’s available now for download on Google Play.  I haven’t used it yet but will starting this evening.  Comments indicate it isn’t perfect (yet).  I’ll be able to compare its performance now with my current Samsung Galaxy Fascinate to the Samsung Galaxy S III I’ll be pre-ordering this weekend at Verizon. Doing this prior to June 28th allows me the phone upgrade and to keep my ‘grandfathered in’ unlimited data for $30/mo.

About the author

Robin Barr is a business owner, animal lover, information and resources junkie, and a fan of innovation. She's also the inventor of award-winning Cold Sores Begone™, an instant preventative, and Canker Sores Begone™, a healing accelerator. A boomer and ENFP, Robin lives in Mission Viejo, Calif.

Share
Posted in Consumer, For Your Enjoyment, Resources, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment